My role as Shaman is to walk between the worlds, weaving in and out of dimensions and realities to transform energy. I use the beat of my drum as a tether to hold me and ground me as I am working to bring alignment to the earth and to the individual.
At the age of 30 my new born son Phoenix died in my arms. That experience brought me so close to death I had to decide whether to live or die. I was put through a painful initiation and had a very harsh awakening followed by a fast tracked remembering and realignment of my life.
My Grandmother was born in Norway it was her homeland where she knew the rivers and the trees. She caught trout by hand in the lakes and deer met her at the door of her cabin in winter. She traversed the mountains to escape the war and so I was born in a land that is not my home. I love the landscape in Tasmania, it speaks to me but I am only new to this place.
While I have been calling back the memories buried in my DNA I have found mentors who have helped me hone my innate abilities. I have studied with Shamanic Teacher Sandra Ingerman and Dream Teacher Robert Moss who taught me the spirit journey technique I use now. I continue to expand my knowledge and skills as I delve deeper into knowing myself.
As the sound of the soul voice illuminates the room I am dropped deeply into the experience. I land in the snow, a frozen landscape. I walk out into the expansive white, I see a small stand of birch trees and walk amongst them, the trees have faces and the gentle spirits speak to me from the trees. They say I must find my tribe. I sit with the trees, lean my head against the birch tree. And sleep takes me.
I wake with a start and see a shape shifter is standing in front of me. A woman with pale blue eyes and broad shoulders, she has the pelt of a grey wolf tied around her body to shelter from the cold. She doesn’t speak to me, just uses hand gestures to show me to follow her. We walk along an invisible path, powdered in white.
She leads me to the edge of a cliff. Pointing that we must go down into the valley. She shows me her hands and I show her mine. We are to change into wolves to traverse the rugged landscape. She see’s my soft palms and shakes her head. My hands are blue with the cold. She breathes warm breath onto my palms then blows her warm breath like dancing streams of steam into my mouth. As I inhale, the warmth dances inside my chest and a heat builds. As her breath is my breath now I can take the form of the Frost Wolf. We both change form at once. Like she is moving me with her own transformation. We run down the cliff side, tactile paws beating the earth as we move together.
At the bottom of the valley I see steam rising out of the ground. We walk up stream of a small river and see the thermal pools of clean snow melt. The Frost Wolf bids me to bathe in the warm mineral waters. I step in and my body becomes human again. I become liquid like the water and I see the minerals enter through the pores of my skin like sparkling diamonds. My bones are strengthened, my skin is renewed and my heart becomes fire. I close my eyes and I sink deeply through the hot springs down through the river bed, I sink like a stone falling down deep. I look up to the pale light of the sky above me as I fall all the way down until my back settles into the stone bed of a glacial lake. A being so ancient my mind is stretch to understand the ages that have past in this one lifetime. I lay quiet and still in the waters. I see the bones of the wolves scattered amongst the stones. These are the bones of my ancestors. I feel the ancient lake communicate with me. The DNA and memories of the wolves are in the water. The ancient lake’s memories are deep.
I am shown that the wolves have been dispersed, severed from the spirit realm, they have become mortal. They have not awoken the song lines. The song lines are sleeping. It is time they were brought back to life. I see in the pale light of the sky above me a map in the stars. The stars begin to spiral down and sink into my body. I carry the star map in me and my feet will be carried along the song lines. The stones I lay on are risen up out of the deep cold water and I lay in a shallow river bed of warm steaming water once more. I open my eyes and I see the cool sky above me. Sharp points of light speak to me as the stars guide me. I walk naked through the snow. My body radiating heat and melting the snow beneath my feet. I see the earth become golden as the star light moves through me and into the Earth. Thin streams of golden light threading itself through me with heavenly melodies. I am radiant and ecstatic as I walk the song lines back to life. Being the conduit for such radiance is a blessing and I drift in and out of myself as I experience the memories of the sacred lands and the wolf ways.
There is a circuit with branching paths and a direction that I follow until it is complete. As the circuit finishes the beautiful golden light leaves me and I fall to the frozen ground. In the dark I feel abandoned. The harsh contrast of divine celestial light and frozen earth hits me. I lose myself the the dark night as my eyes close in the chill of snow.
I wake with my head against the birch tree, still sitting with the spirits of the trees. I feel it must have been a dream, until I hear the distant howl of a wolf and the moon rises over the ridge. Then the soft patter of many furred feet. A huge Black wolf approaches me and his pack surround me. I see the Frost Wolf with them so I have no fear. This is her pack. The black wolf shape shifts into a man with the furs around his shoulders. He has brought me a gift in gratitude for walking the song lines again after them sleeping for so long. He hands me an Elk Antler, it is a symbol of wisdom and power. He says the Elk are sacred to his tribe. They give his tribe life and I have earned my place with them now as a Frost Wolf. One who seeks the way home in the dark of night. He then hands me the heart of the Elk. I eat the hot meat and pass half to him so we can share. We all sit together in the birch grove and we listen deeply to the earth singing the heavenly songs of the stars once more. I feel at home.
As the Soul Song draws me deep into the vision I see my face as a dark reflection in the mirror. I reach a hand out to touch her and I see it is a spell. It is not me at all. I command the reflection to show itself to me truely. The shape morphs and melts, then rises up as a darkly polished man, smooth as satin and smiling back at me. He says I am truely your reflection. I am the dark to your light. You cannot exist here without me. I am as dark as your light is bright. Now think on that… Every light on Earth has a dark mirror. Equal in all ways and just as powerful. I am the destruction that paves way for your creation.
He moves as a foaming rolling wave with the the four horsemen of the apocalypse at his wake. He defiles the ocean spewing black tar into her waters. He breathes black smoke into the sky and burns every living, green thing. He salts the earth so it is barren and dry. There is war raging all around him. Famine, pestilence and disease. Like smouldering fire that consumes all. I cannot stop him, it is written, that I must witness this. He will not stop until every living thing is dead.
I watch the destruction as it unfolds all around me. And I wait… I take pause in the silence, I am in the eye of the storm. I am so close that it all just spins around me and never touches me. Until there is nothing but dust and ashes falling down at my feet.
When his part is complete and he returns to his place in the heavens as a fallen angel. Then my work begins… This work can only be done with a deep reverent love for the earth and her creatures, cultivated by many lifetimes here experiencing many cycles of dark and light. Many times will I change my form as I continue my work here on earth.
I drink the ocean into my body, swallowing the polluted waters in great deep gulping waves. The black tar crystallises and forms rocks which fall from me forming river beds and I cry rivers of salty tears back into the sea. I breathe in the black smoke, acrid and sour, my breath is halting and full of grief. I filter it though the pores of my skin and release clean air into the sky. I lay with my hands on the earth and I whisper to the microbes and mycelium to awaken now and grow new again. They remember me and my sweet words, like an ancient lover missed and reached for they wind fibres of light and life through the earth again. I bring out the seeds of consciousness I have been guarding so carefully. Spiralling through my DNA I have the memory coded of all living beings. The earth is one organism and so when we incarnate here in a body of the earth we hold the creation codes within us for all life. I plant them back into the earth, golden parcels opening with a glow and unfolding with the connecting fibres of light, where they flourish and bloom. All species returning to harmony as the cycle begins again.
This work I will do for ten thousand years. Breathing life back into the earth. I love and adore my work as I love and adore the earth. I know it will be many millennia until I have to meet my Dark Mirror again.
Raise your shield and lean in against the tide of terror, use your force to push onward with a singular focus. Go alone if you have to. Nothing can stop you from following your path, it is built into your bones and blood. You know the way as your ancestors did. They may have read the stars to find their way in the dark but you have an internal compass guiding you. Pulling you forward towards your becoming.
It may be slow and you may come up against some powerful resistance but carry on, with the world on your shoulders. It is the hope of a new and beautiful world that you carry, not like a burden but like a buoyancy that makes your steps lighter and your heart brighter.
Those who can’t see will never know. And your words may wash over them but will never penetrate their core. They are captured and they serve a dark lord now. A dark lord that all will praise except the few who remain true to their source and to themselves. Don’t get caught up in the hype, stay steady and continue on your way. There will be others when you arrive. You won’t be alone forever bright one.
As the reverberations of the Om wash over and through me I see myself step out into the vision. I have my hands in the damp soil. Clawing at the earth. Digging in to expose the white threads of mycelium matted underneath in the dark. I begin to draw out the white fibres, pulling at them like a rope. And something from the other side pulls back. We struggle against each other for a moment. Then I am pulled into the earth and through a portal into the cosmos.
Several bright beings stand above me. Looking down like surgeons haloed by the light. I am calm as they cut open my skin to reveal the mycelium within my body. A network of nerves sending currents of communication through my body. While I am in stasis they pull out this network and inspect it under the light. I can see it is worn and weathered. With patches missing. It has areas that look tired and lacking life. They stitch new threads of light through it and soak it to bring back vibrancy. Wash away the stains and the pain. Then wrap it gently around me again. It is warm and comforting. I feel the love and care that has gone into the reworking of my mycelium like nerve network.
After my body is closed again I speak with the beings who have helped me heal. The main masculine energy says I may call him Astrid which means divinely beautiful. That their Earth bodies of mycelium and mushroom are very different to mine. They are both on the Earth and beyond the Earth at the same time. Their Earth bodies do not contain or restrain them. That they are visitors to the Earth and are here to help repair damage that has been done. And to help other Earth Healers like myself repair the damage. I thank them and I feel we will remain in contact and communication.
I dance to the beat of the drum and I go into trance. I step out of a blue lotus flower that has a heart of gold. The centre of the lotus becomes strands of gold that reach out in front of me creating a path of light. As I dance and build the energy my body becomes plated with gold armour and I become deeply grounded and heavy. I stand with my feet set on the Earth and I draw to me all the light that has been dis possessed by those who have signed away their vessels. I breathe it all into my body and new spaces begin to open up to house the light. Vaults of gold open in the central column of my energy field and doors are opened deep down into the Earth. There are source codes and light frequencies that must remain with the Earth so the path of evolution can continue unhindered. As I draw this light into me I also draw to me those who remain true to their mission. They stand beside me and we breathe deeply together drawing all of the fragments of light to us and into us.
Those of us who are here for the completion of this mission are being asked to expand our capacity for light. We must hold a vast bandwidth of light frequencies and a varied depth of source codes. We are opening up our ancient vaults to protect the light codes as information the Earth will need for her evolution. We are expanding our vessels. I breathe in deeply my lungs are stretched and the tissue tears, I pick up the weight of the missions that others have discarded and my muscles tear, I feel the searing grief in my heart and the tissue tears in pain. Black energy like a venting of toxic smoke leaks out of the tears and I am cleansing my body.
I see the Leviathan (“leviathan” was associated with the Hebrew words lavah, meaning “to couple, connect, or join with”, and thannin, meaning “a serpent or dragon”) within me like a spiralling serpent that has embedded itself into the strands of my DNA. I begin the process of unpicking it and closing the wounds it has left in my body. As I tear my heart, lungs and muscles with the expansion of my vessel I open and release the toxins of Leviathan. I tear my self apart and I breath out all of the illusion caused by the interfering energy.
I see the original wound of separation when I left the divine to come into form. The body altered genetically to house both divine light and demonic entities. The wound has healed misaligned causing great pain in the body. Deep like the ocean my soul grows wider, ever expanding. While my body, dense, is restricted in form, stagnating. How do I, in the hour of now, join the two in harmonious reunion? Strip the very flesh from my bones. Uncoil my spine. Rewind time. To find my way into heaven above so my below can grow. Spread roots into the Earth, become the sea, salt of the Earth, the very hearth of home, where I am known. The unhealed wound is broken fresh again and raw, aligned with the divine light and clearing all infestation of demonic entities housed in DNA and re sealed so the universal energy may flow through me unhindered.
As I dance to the beat of the drum I go into trance and I see golden energy weaving infinity into my spine as it works its way from my base to my crown then I step out into an ancient forest where the oldest tree has laid down to create its own grove. The Ancient Huon pine has an opening in its bark. A scar. I place my palm flat on the open skin of the tree. Layers and layers of records from the Earth akashic records hit me and fold into me. I begin to melt into and fall into the rich tannin filled waters of the river that enfold the forest. I sink into the deep dark depths and am carried like a fallen log to the opening of the sea.
As I arrive at the sea shore I step up and out of the water onto the sand. I am like a Selkie stepping out of the water and out of my seal skin which I wrap around my shoulders. My seal skull I wear like a crown in my human form. I see an ancient Atlantean castle made of light rise out of the sea in front of me. As I ascend the steps I walk with one of my kin beside me. We reach the top of the steps and we are blocked entrance to the castle by an enormous walrus. He sheds his skin and we see him as the King. Foreboding and immense. I say to him “I am a free being of the land and the sea, grant me sovereignty.” He asks me to prove I am of the land and sea. I show him my two eyes of Jasper. One green the land, one dark like the depths of the sea. He sees me as the shapeshifting selkies of both the land and the sea, through these eyes.
He grants me Sovereignty and I begin to cut the cords of bondage which become visible all around me. I cut these cords away with a scythe made of Darwin Glass blade and Huon pine handle. I cut away the cords for my kin also. When we are free of bondage I ask to access the hall of records. The ancient castle of light is an Atlantean hall of records, I ask to pass. The king demands payment and I give him a seed of consciousness as trade. I open from my heart the golden energy of the pine and it moves forward through his heart. The pine cone moving from his heart to his crown and opening out unfolding cosmic connection. His crown opens to the cosmos as gold and his golden energetic wings open as his consciousness ascends.
We step past him and into the hall of records. I begin to imbibe the knowledge. Breathing deeply in the words and the wisdom from the sacred texts. I see the golden words and symbols move through my breath into my body. My kin stands solid beside me and hums a low tone that keeps the frequency stable. My cyclic breath begins to draw up the floor of the ocean. The sand like fragmented crystals rising and whirling into a massive tidal wave that draws up on itself endlessly and stands static shadowing us below. The tidal wave begins to shape shift into the head of a cobra then, the head of a lion then the whole structure solidifies as sand stone in the shape of a temple. I see now, that the tidal wave I was so afraid to step into, in my dreams, was a temple all along. The ancient hall of records is revived and rebuilt from the desecrated ruins of the fragmented crystal castle. I breathe out gold and cover the temple sealing it then I breathe the shimmering waters out to cover and cloak the temple so it remains hidden.
We walk now as free beings of the land and the sea. Encoded with the memories of our selves and the earth as it was and will be again in glorious alignment with the cosmos.